Find the ‘TRUTH’
By: AJ Borowsky
The truth of RIGHT vs. WRONG is not a stark difference, it’s made up of percentages shared among those who disagree. Each of us wants to be 100% correct, I’m right and you’re wrong, but the truth in every situation I’ve come across is that while you might be right, I’m probably not totally wrong.
The title of this was going to be a bit longer to capture the intricacies of the topic so here it is: Find the Truth in Lies, Untruths, Exaggerations, and Ego.
I’ve always had a basic understanding of this but it was one experience that helped me to apply this knowledge more consistently. It all began at a new business I had opened and a new hire that didn’t work out as planned.
Having just opened our doors we needed to hire as many people as quickly as we could to keep up with demand.
The hiring of new employees was mostly handled by our manager who had conducted the first interview. My wife and business partner conducted a second interview and we offered the candidate the position. She accepted but had some concerns about some details which we thought we had resolved. The day she was to begin work, with a full day of appointments already scheduled, she said she still had concerns and decided it was best to quit, leaving us to scramble, with upset and angry clients. I felt this was unprofessional.
I called to find out what happened and before the conversation went too far, I was accused of handling the situation poorly and to my shock, she accused me of being unprofessional. The tables were turned and that made me mad. “How dare she call me that,” I thought. I knew I was 100% correct and that it was she who was unprofessional!
After the phone call ended I began to think and saw some truth to her statement. I could have handled things better. We can improve our hiring process. We can communicate better. Was I unprofessional? No, but there was truth in her exaggeration. It wasn’t just her ego speaking but it was my ego blocking the message. In spite of her unprofessionalism, there was some truth to her accusation.
That’s when the A-Ha moment occurred.
No matter how wrong a person is about you or your actions; there is always some truth to be found.
By looking at it that way everything, every interaction is a learning experience. Now when someone accuses me of something or criticizes me, I let myself get angry and upset, I’m human after all, but then I step back and find the truth. It’s a liberating experience.
Later, as the business matured, I was presented with a clash of personalities between two employees. They didn’t get along from the moment they met and accusations began to fly back and forth. The outcome was that one employee refused to come to work unless the other employee was fired.
I drove nearly three hours on a holiday weekend from my vacation to resolve the situation. I asked each of them to come into work and I would talk with them individually. Using my example from above I told them that I could find the truth in being called unprofessional and got both to see that while they believed they were mostly correct, there was some truth to the other’s viewpoint. I considered that a small victory. Both employees stayed and we were able to avoid upsetting our clients with canceled appointments.
That one experience, that important realization, has given me a new way of looking at every opinion, belief, and prejudice I have or that I’m faced with so that I can find the truth and better understand the people around me.
AJ Borowsky has had a successful career in television news, as an entrepreneur and an author. AJ also studied financial planning, passing the rigorous Certified Financial Planner® exam. His curiosity has guided him to follow many paths and financial life coaching is his latest endeavor.
AJ Borowsky | Financial Life Coach | Author: What Next A Proactive Approach to Success
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